Well, you can say what you want but we don’t often have temperatures in the minus 20’s around here… so…
People notice!
And complain!
And shiver!
Well, Eureka! I do think I’ve figured out the most excellent way to keep warm ! Keep on reading for this sensational breakthrough!
Picture this: I am wearing long johns under long pants, 2 pairs of socks and a pair of slippers. I have an undershirt, a turtleneck AND a fleece on… and I would put my mittens on but I want to show that I am not a wimp, after all, so I pass on that. I am sitting on a sleeping bag that is covering my futon, and have my electric blanket plugged in to cover me. The space heater is on High and pointing right at me from about 4 feet away. I have one dog on my left, another one on my right and a cat on my lap. Ahhhhhhh! Toasty!
Problem arises when I need to move; I mean, one can only drink so much tea (to keep warm) without having to dispose of it somehow, eventually.
** Non, nein, niet, no!!! Depends™ are NOT an option, people! We’re not going there! **
Believe me: It’s quite the workout to shift my warming gang aside while I go take care of business and then try to get them back in the same position within a few minutes. I have actually caught them looking at me with eyes that say: “Lady! Make up our mind already!” Honestly, I kid you not!
And then there’s lunch… another troublesome production unless I invite Mooch and Moochette to share said lunch with me; they would follow me to the end of the world these two for a piece of cheese and a cracker!
I do thank my lucky stars for remote controls; without those, I would be stuck on the same channel for days on end because there is no way I am going to disturb such a carefully created monument to cooperation just for channel surfing. One needs to think of all the things that can happen during the next hour or so and improvise solutions as required. It’s hard work!
And that’s only for when I am inside –you can probably visualize what happens when I have to go outside. Me and Michelin Man look remarkably alike in shape ~ of course, he’s white and I’m red but otherwise, we could be twins! So many layers, it’s hard to move! When I was out there yesterday, a nice young man, driving a cute little yellow snowplow, saw how stressed and beat up I looked out there trying to clear a path to liberate my car from the driveway and he took pity on me! He motioned me to move to the side and proceeded to clear the way in 10 seconds flat. I was so grateful for what he had done, I thought of crying for a moment . However, that is not the best idea when it’s cold; the tears ice up right away and it is really not that pleasant. So, I blew him a kiss and gave him a big wave. And he plowed away to another driveway, smiling away.
You know what? It warmed my heart so much to have been the recipient of such a gift that not only did I get the energy to finish clearing off the sidewalk in front of my house but I also took care of the neighbors’. Just like the Grinch whose heart grew three times bigger after he got some sense knocked into him except that I am not grumpy.
I’ve heard it’s called PAY it FORWARD and I tell you, it really kept me burning hot for the rest of the day! Try it, I bet you’ll love it!
Aloha out there to my fellow warmth lovers! I’m with you!
Signing off to quickly get back to my warm spot ~ my fingers are frozen!
Better be a Little "S" than a Little Less! J
And again one more day of cold and isolation for many of us..Sylvie you put words and incredible humour into our common experience. Too bad we cannot energize through the distance and get together for tea...keep writing ..it is SUCH fun to read!
ReplyDeleteThank you mon amie ❤i've just discovered myself that my Friday training class has been cancelled, as today, on top of the snow, the meteorologists are forecasting freezing rain! Hey, at least they're shuffling it well, we're getting a bit of everything! Well, if i don't have to go anywhere, i'm taking my mug of tea, my 2 dogs and the cat back to bed with me! 😃TGIF
DeleteFrom what you describe about the setup you need to keep warm with your ménagerie all around you, it almost seem as if it -20° INSIDE your house!!! Maybe it's warmer outside! ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope the guy in the snowplow didn't see you cleaning up the neighbour's snow; he migth think that the red madame Michelin he helped was enjoying herself in the snow and he deprived her of that pleasure! :)
Keep on writing and shoveling but not necessarily at the same time!
Well , you know, it might just be -20 inside because i've signed up for a saving electricity challenge and i'd really like to win the trip to Alaska! I've sent a picture of a humongeous icicle to the BC Hydro Power Smart people and insinuated that it might have been taken in my kitchen to show my enthusiasm on their campaign! Do you think they'll send me the prize? Or a first class ticket to the nearest mental facility?
DeleteMaybe both prizes..haha..
DeleteI think many more days of this weather and there could be a waiting list at the nearest mental facility!
Let's just all remember, peoples, who was first in line!
DeleteKeep going Little S I think you are gathering material here for a second career..stand up comedienne! (Now if I can only type the letters correctly in the really ODD words they want me to type before I publish this I can send it..)
ReplyDeleteNow there's an idea..creating meaning for those crazy words kinda like BALDERDASH..ohoh I think I may have fast-tracked my position in the aforementioned waiting list! :-)
Too funny, Jane! I welcome all comments and suggestions as i never know when the next writer's block will be upon me! Cheerio! (no, not the breakfast kind) :)
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