Part Deux : Cooking a turkey , just because…

WARNING:  If you read the second part first, you will get the punchline before the story!   See Part 1 of same title to avoid confusion!

Well, it’s 3:07pm and I can’t stand it anymore!   6 hours ago, I pledged to leave it for 12 hours but I just can’t do it… I’m on pins and needles and just feel that it’s got to be brined enough.   Now, to get the bird out of the cooler, out of the bag and into the clean sink and let’s rinse, rinse and rinse.  I’m told this is one of the most important steps, I’m gonna follow through.   Don’t forget to pitty-pat the whole thing dry, tenderly like it’s your newborn babe. - I made that last part up, isn’t it poetic? J

OK!  Maintenant, some butter, onion powder, celery and a little persi/perlà (that’s parsley for the uninitiated),  et voila, 4:02pm and we’re in the oven at 325F for the next 3 hours.  I’ve got my meat thermometer ready and have reset my timer(s)….  I’ve now got another 3 hours to kill – well, it being Sunday and all, I don’t really intend on killing anyone but would like to find something productive to do during that time– if you know what I mean.   Hey, maybe I’ll have a snack, read a book, watch a video, do my homework and call my mom!   I’m hungry enough to eat a horse – I mean a whole turkey J  tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock…



Well, it is 6:28pm, 2 hours and 26 minutes after bird flew into the oven and my thermometer tells me it’s cooked!    Now, another 30 minutes as the subject of our attention needs to SIT and rest for a bit.   And I thought I was the only one tired… tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock…

7:01pm:   Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmm…  Hmsilp  o snvzeest!  Pnxs ow ywmc  emeyrt pathe ! – SO SORRY!! – my mouth was full;  What a feast!  Out-of-this world taste!    It's the best - Zab had told me how everyone had raved about it at her house!  I'm sure glad that I listened to her good advice!   She was right again - elle a toujours raisin, ma soeur!  However  I have barely started my 3rd helping but i'm already stuffed!    My hunger pangs stopped midway between the cheddar flavored popcorn and the nachos grande with guacamole and salsa i inhaled while i was waiting; that’s what happens to me everytime when it takes too long to get from A to B once I get the yearning.      Rats!  Zut!  

Mooch and Moochette are looking at me, batting their eyelashes, letting me know that they always have room for more food and hope I’ll (oops) drop some on the floor for them to Hoover ™ up.   I don’t think so, not this time.   Off it goes in the freezer, so the next time I feel like a turkey, I can indulge in a timely manner.

I had been warned that a turkey can be a serious investment in time – no kidding, Jack!!!  It’s a good thing all the other stuff I had planned today could be dealt with in bite-size time periods because I was able to fit  all of it within my multiple waiting -around breaks.

You know, I’m making a video of all this; not only so I can remember next time when the turkey craving shows its irrepressible head but to help Newbies of all ages and at all stages of their cooking education!  Kind of like a “ Turkey for Dummies” book.  I will have it be available for purchase at $29.95 plus GST or HST or whatever other taxes prevail.  You think I’m trying to get rich?  Well, there’s that;  J  however, I  do have some costs to recover, you know.  I had to take 2 weeks off work for this project, one full week since I first got the “cursed craving”,  to meat on the plate; then I'll need another week to rest and recover from the trauma.  I swear; next time this nasty craving pops up in my head, I’m booking a flight to Montréal, first class, for the weekend and get my sister or brother or mother to cook a “Dinde” for me;  it’ll be cheaper and more enjoyable, I promise!

I will say “Salut” at this time.  All the pots and pans I own are in the sink, soaking, waiting for the maid to come and clean up.  I sure pray that my boys have learned their cooking skills from their dad because they won’t be much help in the kitchen if they leaned on me to pass that gene on to them!  Improvising in the kitchen is not one of my skills - leave it to the pros I say!

Signing off for real now, and leaving you with this moral:    “If I don’t cook another turkey until the cows come home, that’ll be too soon! “ ~ Hey, I feel like roast beef now!!!  (I feel another story coming on!)

Better be a Little "S" than a Little Less!  J