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Friday, 7 December 2012

The Balancing Act...

Royalty Free RF Clipart Illustration Of A Moodie Character Unbalanced On A Board by Johnny Sajem

I have never been a “halfway” kind of person.    Do I view my glass as half-full or half-empty?  100% full or 100% empty has always been my favored way of thinking, as distorted as that can seem, to the uninitiated.  It's yes or no, never maybe. 

I love that verse from John 10:10, when Jesus claims… “I have come that they may have life and have it to the FULL”  (emphasis mine)…    Well, that’s what I want to do, live it to the full extent possible.

Sparingly?  Sparsely?   The afore-mentioned are adjectives I don’t often identify with the way I live: Am I right? Wrong?   Who’s to say?   What I know is that I am aware of my passionate sense of life and am also conscious that I need to protect myself… from myself.  I'm addicted to the Full-Life principle and want nothing less!  Do you think i was born for a "little life"? Moi?    La Petite Vie ~ not for me! 

Is that safe, you ask?  Well, i have found a way to work on that problem of mine.  I need a Little "S" 12-Step Program (no Peanut Gallery, that's not a Country and Western dance lesson). 
From my readings, Twelve Step meetings are not for the faint of heart!  Do you think it's easy to put yourself out there, naked, problems in full view of anyone?  How I wish that I could stand up at  such a meeting, and state to all present:  " YES, my name is  Little "S"
and i am a  mess!  (Hey! that rhymes!)   I don't know if i'm coming  or going but as long as i've looked like i knew what i was doing, i've had you fooled.  Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm just as human and broken as you are because, by the way, i am not in control. "    Cough.  Choke. Gasp!!!

I  need something that realigns me back in a place of normal human deficiency,  and that helps me go on with more than just a black or white attitude.   Being middle-of-the-road is not necessarily considered wishy-washy.   It  should also  teach me a balance which I sadly (?) lack and show me I am not the only one who needs reminders of the health hazards of living this full way and the tremendous benefits of not constantly jumping on and off the wagon Cartoon of a Covered Wagon clipart ;   broken ankles are the least of my worries!  

Wagons can have so many different shapes; some are likely to be very well hidden: 
Drinking excessively whether it’s Starbucks coffee, Coca-Cola or rye & ginger ale!  Can't function without watching the news, on every channel, 3 times a day, under the guise of wanting to be in touch?  Day totally ruined when someone gets to the crossword puzzle before you at coffee break?   Eat, read or sleep too much?    Organizing my week to fit around my life-choices and absolutely devastated if something goes awry?  Am i still in charge?   Is the bull running the cart or is it the other way around?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are going to be different for each one of us.   However,  what I mostly appreciate about the 12-Step family mentality is that it is not wrong to acknowledge our weaknesses because once we get to that point, we are able to not only see that we are not alone in our excesses but also see that we can be realists and truly intend to roll up our sleeves and get to work at becoming the people we will value even more than we already do.   I love AA's motto of : " Progress, not Perfection."

I have learned that one of the most important Commandments is to “…love your neighbor as yourself..”.    Well, if I don’t love myself enough to want to be the best I can be, what does that look like for my neighbor? 
What am I addicted to that is dragging me down? 

Is it a monster that has taken life of it's own? 

Something to ponder on, anyways, in these days of excessive seasonal partying opportunities;  will i make it.... or blow myself up?   Maybe living to the full just reminds me not to settle for the crumbs dropped under the table; maybe it's about not being afraid of loving to the max, with no regrets.  And maybe it's just a state of being, a spirit fully satiated because i'm becoming the best that i can be, the person i am meant to be!

Signing off... and walking the line, today anyway  :)

 Better to be a Little “S” than a Little Less  


  1. Wow!

    I'm impressed! Fully!


    Still, I don't really believe in the "BIG LIFE"/"little life" metaphor!
    Someone’s "BIG LIFE" can always look like a "little life" to someone else!
    And the reverse is also true!

    I think we can all live a FULL life without loosing track of the fact that we need some kind of control over that life of ours if we aspire to become the best person we can (or are meant) to be!

    Life is a FULL time job anyway!


    1. Thank you G: I do agree that someone's opinion on what is the best often differs from mine; however, i have met some people who wallow in mediocracy, just because they don't think they deserve better. Kind of like some rich person flying economy when they can afford first class- know what i mean?

    2. and by the way... i am not talking rich or poor in this instance; i have felt full when i did not have 2 loonies unspoken for in my wallet - yet, at time, have felt strangely empty at the height of my financial successs. I do know that money is not the all and all for me.

  2. After reading this, I feel like knocking to your door and giving you a major hug.
    I've heard so many poeple say they could not work on being better because they were to old of felt like it was too late. From my point of view, the truth is they are too scared to live the best experience they can get out of their own life. Scared of losing what they presently have, without realising things could be even better for them (and poeple around them).

    Thanks for making that chose for yourself matante.
    It's a truly inspiring gesture.

    Luv and kisses

  3. Luv and kisses right back at you too my sweet niece - it's amazing that the older i get, the more insight i have AND the discovery that you are aware of that already is such a blessing! So wise already! So many years left to use it all! Live and let live; Love and let love! You can knock on my door anytime ;)
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx S

  4. Wow! What an interesting find! I love your blog! I've found so many cool blogs with this new link jump thing I found. I will definatly be back. Great work!

    1. Thank you Shawn :)
      I used to get emails when someone made a comment- no longer, i see.
      Let's just say i'm having lots of fun.

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