The Art of Being Lost

 What got me started?  This quote, from a book of Peter Behrens, which I just finished reading:  "The O’Briens"  -  By the way, I totally recommend this Canadian author I just discovered.

“You were never really lost because there was nowhere you weren’t lost...It was only panic that caused trouble.”

Isn’t that the truth!  I’m lost all the time,  however, I only panic once in a blue moon!

We’re talking here about someone *me*, who gets lost ALL the time!  No, I am not exaggerating.  Once my son had to come and rescue me ~on my 50th birthday~ because I lost my way while driving to an important exam.  I can still remember that phone call:  I dialed him, he recognized my number and started signing “Happy Birthday” before he said hello.  And I replied:  “No, it’s not a happy day, I’m lost” and I was balling my eyes out, on the verge of a full-blown panic attack,  with my mom and sister visiting from out of town in the car with me!  I was freaking out about being late; so I stopped on the side of the road and from my cell phone, , between sobs, I explained to him where I was.   Within minutes – thank goodness I was close to where he lived –  he appeared out of nowhere, telling me to look ahead of me on the road and there he was in his car, to lead the way!  Then we found the school but couldn’t find how to get in… and here is my boy, holding my hand and running with me to find a door that was not locked.  I tell you – that made up for a lot of his teenage shenanigans!

Another time, I was out at a Christmas get together in a neighboring town and even though I had made it there with no trouble at all, it was dark at departure time and I got completely turned around.  Ended up in the middle of nowhere, where there were no streetlights, no homes, no stores… and only one truck following me from way to close for my comfort - i started hearing eery music in my head... freaky!  And I did not have my cell phone!!!   After half an hour of driving in the dark, I finally spotted a house with Christmas lights on and figured they probably weren’t murderers if they had decorated their home.  So I got out of my car, rang the doorbell and broke into tears when a lady answered the door!  I explained to her that I was lost,  where I was coming from and where I wanted to be.  She handed me a box of Kleenex and proceeded to explain to me how to get back on the main road;  I followed her directions and was promptly on my way home, albeit over an hour late.   Scary!

I think my problem is that I do not have one ounce of a sense of direction in me. PERIOD.  I get in trouble when I forget that and decide to follow my instincts which are ALWAYS wrong.  So what do I do about this?  I do have some options:

One:  I could get a GPS unit in my vehicle.  Yes, there is something of the sort in my cell phone but since we’re not supposed to use our cell phones while driving, this is not very helpful. 

Two:  I need a chauffeur.  A little pricier than option one however, it would kill 2 birds with one stone (no Peanut Gallery, I don’t really kill birds, it’s just an expression that convenes efficiency). This would allow me a reprieve from driving and a worry-free trip as to the possibility that I am going to appear at my destination on time.

  

The moral of the story?   When I find a good way to get somewhere, I stick to it and you could tell me about better ways or shortcuts and I won’t listen to you because, if I change my mental roadmap, I’ll get lost one more time.

Mind you, another option would be to stay home but then, I’d miss all the excitement!

Better Be a Little “S” than a Little Less!